Whew it’s finally Friday!
I hope this finds you well - as spring has arrived and the birth of a new season (and hello allergies) is greeting you with soft new grass under your feet, longer days and March Madness if you celebrate. I’m in a bit of a sports lull after the dramatic conclusion of football season (Yes, I won!) So I’m not too involved in the basketball so far this month but I am still paying attention peripherally. What I AM excited about is baseball season coming soon. When we were in Florida we ended up a spring training game and it was a great dose of mid winter baseball.
Being in Florida for the full moon this month was extra special, and having a spot on the water with our own dock was quite a treat. As we sat admiring the moon that night, a dark shadow in the water visited us and we could see it because of the bright moonlight. It appeared to be a large manta ray slapping the water and demanding our attention. The ray came back a second time and even though a bunch of scary ‘Jaws’ images alarmed me, I stayed calm and tried to receive the message. We also saw dolphins and a myriad of birds and it was so great to chill for a few days, resting and resetting.
Getting back and jumping into the fray again was a really weird transition. For some reason this year, the onslaught of March 2020 felt safe enough to be remembered as something that happened, instead of something that is still happening. Trust me, I am not saying Covid-19 is over, because it will probably always be here now. But the fear, trepidation and uncertainty of that initial deep dive into it feels like it’s now something to reflect on.
I look around and ask ‘what happened to us all?’ and I think it will be a long time to unpack that for everyone. For me, there is so much and I’m still working on some of what it means. I read something on a substack, sorry I can’t remember who or where at this moment, but it was a writer’s newsletter, and it was like ‘DO NOT WRITE ABOUT THE PANDEMIC. NO ONE WANTS TO RELIVE THAT.’ And such a bold position contracted me a bit, because I was thinking, how can we NOT write about it? The world changed in such a big way. And it leads to a time and space of global frame. And weren’t there some beautiful things to emerge out of it?
It transitioned me so much into valuing my time that now I am a fierce gatekeeper of how I spend it and who gets it. In the before times I was willing to give it away and therefore felt under appreciated at times, and also lost in my own lack of purpose. And now I am so much more clear and defined about what I truly want to be doing. The double edged sword is that I don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do! Even the luxury of writing this newsletter weekly escapes me because some of the wonderful things I get to do (play music, record in a studio, attend Gateless Writing meetings, Therapeutic Touch, Peter Himmelman’s song class etc) take up my bandwidth of output into the world.
Before the pandemic I was doing many of these things, but much less intentionally. I wrote into my therapeutic touch group last week in distress because I was feeling overwhelmed with commitments and wanting to be centered in all things I ‘touch.’ And their wise responses to my quandary were so calming because they gently reminded me that alignment in my soul, the ‘inner self’ is the best thing I can ‘do’ (thanks Charlie Elkind) and also sometimes saying ‘no’ is a valuable healing tool. (thank you, Jean Kijek)
Now I feel a relief, and an impulse to rest more, which helps me feel a whole lot less burned out when it comes time to do what I love.
Does that make sense? Do you feel like you’ve shifted in this way or a different way over the last 3 years? And now, what do you value that you took for granted before?
Here is a short list of what’s been inspiring me lately:
The Creative Act - by Rick Rubin
‘it may be helpful to think of Source as a cloud. Clouds never truly disappear. They change form. They turn into rain and become part of the ocean, and then evaporate and return to being clouds. The same is true of art.’ (p. 14)
This Substack!
My friend Stacie Huckeba’s new studio space, ‘The Glitter Bomb”
This Song:
Getting out for a 5K walk this AM with Baba G. Hope I can keep it up!
Blessings to you! xoxo mp
You are such a lyrical writer. I’ve thought that the pandemic forced us to be alone much, much more than we were accustomed to or wanted. I found the shutdown to be cathartic, I’m reading more than my busy life before had allowed. I found joy once again in how the sun dappled through the trees, how the air smells when it turns cold and in how lucky Joe and I are in so many ways. We ended up calling it ‘forced introspection’
Your writing conjures up so many things for me.
You are so, so many things but your courage is what stands out for me and always will.
❤️