Thoughts from a plane

and an upcoming tribute to Joni

I’m on a flight as I write this and somehow have already misplaced my (reading) glasses. I know I got on the plane with them on but who knows where they are right now?

How are you doing out there? It’s funny, every time I publish a post I feel better and think I will write something again soon. Then a month goes by like nothing and I feel like I have so many thoughts it’s near impossible to get them down, followed by what the heck do I even want to say. Rinse and repeat.

I’m consumed with a few things in addition to work lately. One of them is ‘what is happening out there in the society in which we live.’ How things are getting dismantled at a rapid rate and how difficult it is to keep up with information, determining what is accurate and how to stand up and resist tyranny and the fascism that is catching on like wildfire. It is so manipulative because we are all vulnerable to it right now. In addition to keeping up with living a decent life and taking care of responsibilities, the burden of what is happening out there and the lies Americans are being told, and the outright lack of humanity toward many many people has me wondering, why would anyone want to be so mean?

My nightmares lately are centered around people who have manipulated and mistreated me in my life. These dreams are telling me something, even when I don’t know exactly what the message is. Do I still resent some people that are likely not thinking about me anymore, or is it more of a metaphor of what is happening in the government and the way some of the wealthiest are ‘mean girling’ the shit out of us? When I try to stand up for myself in these dreams, I cave back in and act in an accommodating way, something I’ve hated about myself, in the avoidance of conflict. I’ve always been best in hindsight, thinking about what I wished I’d said.

These dreams are like that. I’m frozen in conflict with myself; more than the other person, as I see their true colors that I’d either ignored or protected in the past.

So what does that say about where we are right now? I often feel super helpless currently. It’s amazing how what we trusted as laws and rights are being usurped by technocracy. And I’m also addicted to watching the dismantling, additionally taking soothing in the constructs of it all, constantly clutching my phone for new information and dopamine hits in the name of hope something goes the right (or left) way.

In the meantime, I’m playing tennis. I think about the game all of the time, and I am playing several days a week. It continues to keep me sane and all I want to do is improve. It’s been a minute since I’ve wanted to work on something so very much. I’m grateful to be finding a great community of like minded and generous players out there. It has been saving me.

I’m also in love with some characters I’ve been creating in my writing. Last month I published my story about ‘Sister Wind’ and I was so pleased that many of you responded to the story in a way that made me feel seen and understood. Since then I’ve been developing the story some more, and I’m trying to let the characters reveal themselves and commune with me. Is it a short story, is it a book, is it a musical (a soundtrack has been emerging after all!) or is it my form of narrating the times we are in?

I really appreciate you for reading this. I know that right now what you choose to take in is very prime real estate in your consciousness. I have created shields and protective barriers for what I take in and I want to write words that are helpful to us (myself included) in making sense of it all. I also want to stay awake and alert and resistant to the powers that want us to be brainwashed or go silent due to being overwhelmed. I do believe that a lot of the authoritarian moves that are being made will crumble eventually, but I am also concerned that a ton of destruction will occur in the process. We will rebuild. We will change. But we must must must stay in touch - with our own nudges, with our own loved ones, and with our fellow neighbors no matter if we agree or disagree. A time will come when any of the mentioned will need us and our true compassion will be the phoenix, the healing force, that emerges out of the ashes.

If I could only find my glasses.

Much love, mp

Oh btw! I’m playing a show this Friday 4/4/2025. - a JONI MITCHELL tribute! At Dee’s Lounge. It’s going to be special. Come out if you can, or tune into the livestream. Friday 4/4/2025

PS I found my glasses.